ALBATROSSES AND OTHER THINGS
An albatross is considered the hardest thing in golf and it is not difficult to see why. Two long shots on a par five or one long shot on a par four. Hard that might be but we have had a veritable flood of them lately. Over the last three years there have been three or should that be four? In the previous sixty-seven years there might have been six of them. I say “might” because our records are incomplete and rely upon the memory of those still with us and even then there is uncertainty because unless we ask we may not be told. So, what do we know?
The origin of the word is interesting but needs to be put into context. Birdie apparently relates to a nineteenth century expression meaning, “cool” or “excellent.” Cool rather than excellent seems appropriate. We can thank the Americans for eagle. The Bald Eagle is their national emblem and is a magnificent sight so, American exceptionalism aside, that also seems appropriate. A species of Albatross has a wingspan of three metres and can fly very long distances. For sailors it was an omen of good luck because it was believed to carry the souls of dead sailors. If it was killed though then it became an omen of bad luck and from this we get the expression,” An albatross round your neck,” meaning a burden. None of you will do it but if you want to explore the moral dimensions further then look up one of the finest poems in English, “The Rime of the Ancient Mariner” by S.T. Coleridge. Whatever, I am happy for it to be used to recognise golf excellence.
Most happen on a par five where a long drive is followed by a long approach shot. While not many of us are capable of the long drive all of us are capable of the next shot. It is the equivalent of a hole-in-one but even here distance is a big factor. Of about 170 holes-in-one over the years, roughly 38% have come on the short 5th while only 11% have come on the long 8th. You may as well know that about 26% have come on the 10th and 28% on the 14th. Again, this is hardly relevant to the topic but I am surprised that the 14th is not streets ahead of the 10th. The elevated tee should make it easier for all of us. Whatever, an albatross on a par five requires two very long shots and … luck.
Par fours can produce the same result although this presents a dilemma as to whether this is a hole-in-one or an albatross. Actually, that is no dilemma – albatross of course – although it is a dilemma that very few of us will have to face. Still, we have had some “nearlies” and probably many more than I know. Graham Austin was ready to putt on the 18th when a ball gently tapped him on the foot. It was Lachie who had cut the corner but good as the drive was it didn’t do the right thing by dropping in the hole. I had a similar experience on the 11th when a ball trickled past my feet. It was Darren Adams’ tee shot. It wasn’t an albatross for two reasons: it went close to the hole but not in and it was his third shot off the tee.
This gives me the chance to tell two unrelated stories. Craig Harris has had a “moral” hole-in-one. He was playing his third tee shot. Now I know that only aces played in competition are official but I quite like the idea of a moral shot. Not so with Graham Rawson. He is sick of me telling this but I can’t resist. He was playing Pennant at Emerald when he scrubbed his drive and, thinking it was out of bounds, played a provisional. Of course, when he got to the top of the hill his first was at the bottom of the cup. This has to be an example of an immoral ace even though it was official.
The 7th seems a good place to begin the real history because this is where three have occurred lately and the circumstance would have been similar: long drive and good approach shot. Matt Guy did just that. I have written about that recently so I won’t bore you with the details except to say that it was Matt who made it fashionable to have an albatross on this hole. Now there is something you won’t see too often: Matt and fashionable in the same sentence.
Phil Adams followed script with his effort but maybe what followed didn’t. His achievement was recorded on the web site as, “Great score – one ball” One ball? You have to be kidding!!! And the Club was because later he did get a proper recognition. There are now moves underfoot by Glen for all such achievements to have its own place on the honour board although this will not be at all easy to faithfully record,
The most recent effort on this hole was by Woorayl visitor, Matt Smith, just before Christmas. His drive was short of the efforts by Mat Guy and Phil and required a well struck 3-wood for his second shot. What intrigues me is that by my mistake I believed this had happened on the day the men played off the red markers and therefore the hole was shorter. It wasn’t the case but if it had been would it have qualified as a proper albatross? To my mind it would not have made an ounce of difference. A distance of say, 120 metres, as opposed to maybe 150+ doesn’t lessen the degree of difficulty. Matt’s effort was right and proper.
And so too was Rohan Berkhout’s recent effort when he made an albatross on the 6th after the hole was shortened to 285 metres. Yes, he probably drove the green – as many can and will do – but it wasn’t his fault that the hole hadn’t been re-rated. I am not in favour of retrospective rule changes but the Match and Play Committee – or whatever it is called nowadays – might need to show the wisdom of Solomon to adjudicate. It would not just be Rohan’s “albatross” in question but all the “eagles” for which the club has already paid out.
Rohan should not be caught up in this debate; instead, he should be congratulated on a very fine effort – an albatross at best and an eagle at worst. I hope you like the idea of describing an eagle as at worst so let us explore this a little more.
Most of our eagles are on par fives and yet given how far the big hitters drive it is surprising how few occur on par fours. The 4th, 11th, 15th and 17th are comfortably within reach although not without risks. The 2nd and 3rd are for the bigger boys still while the 1st and 18th should only tempt the even bigger boys even though the risks of a mis-hit shot are minimal. This leaves the 9th in limbo. It should be within reach but I have yet to see it. More significantly, in the days of our Pro-Am, the pros would position themselves for an approach shot from the 7th fairway.
Leaving this aside the question still needs to be asked as to why, all of a sudden, the 7th should suddenly become albatross paradise. Here is a theory entirely unsupported by evidence but which might have a grain of truth. I am never surprised to see an approach shot land very near this hole in a way I don’t associate with the other par 5’s. Could it be that the trees both left and right guarding the green cause us to focus directly on the flag acting just like a rifle sight? It sounds fanciful because albatrosses are really just luck. It might take skill to get the ball close but whether it pops in comes down to luck. Anthony confirmed that the theory was rubbish although he is an unreliable witness. Why, just the other day I heard him giving poor Eric Robbins a hard time about Carlton last winning a flag in 1995. This was when Geelong was giving away flags for free. Of course, Anthony was on the pro circuit in Queensland at the time and may not have realised.
So, they are the modern efforts. What about the others. Not surprisingly Shane Dwyer, eleven times club champion claims one. It was on the then 1st which many of you will remember and all of you can picture. The tee box is still visible near the driving range. It was a relatively short dog-leg right par 5 so that the big hitters were in danger of running out of fairway if they hit it straight and too well. If the tees were forward their answer was to go straight over the corner; otherwise get their drive to the corner and use a wood to complete the distance. What Shane did I don’t know but I was there the day Wayne Robbins played conventionally and from probably 180 metres hit a ball that was tracking dead centre for the hole but landed a few metres short. He made the eagle.
Paul Thaw was a three-time club champion (1986, 1990 and 1996.) His happened on the 12th, May 1st 1999 which is also May Day, celebrated the world over by Lefties – of the political kind. As a very successful Accountant I can’t see Paul marching to bring down Capitalism but who knows. In his words, “I smashed a ball over the corner and then hit a one-iron for my second shot. We couldn’t see the ball on the green and thought it must have gone over but after several minutes of searching Mark Allen chose to check the hole and then the celebrations began.” One-iron? This is the club that Lee Trevino said even God couldn’t hit but I won’t go there and instead concentrate on “smash.” I first met Paul when he was a student at Drouin High. It was Athletics day. The javelin was a highly technical sport and yet he threw it a prodigious distance so no surprise he was a big hitter at golf. He also had a temper. Scientific calculators were new and expensive. If he got something wrong he would hurl it to the ground knowing his father would happily replace it. When I asked Anthony if he left his temper at home when playing golf, his answer was brief; “NO.” However Ryan played with him recently and said that now, in his fifties but still playing off near single figures, he has “matured a lot.”
Before returning to the serious stuff let me indulge myself. In Paul’s day five minutes was allowed to search for a ball but today only three. How would you feel if you were timed out because you hadn’t found the ball in time? Just kidding.
The 12th has a special place in our history. Shane talks of a time when players were encouraged to plant Kikuya runners as they played. Our course is built upon a semi-swamp and nowhere was this more evident than on the 12th and 13th. In the early days though we had a local rule that allowed you to have a free shot if your ball was seen to plug on the fairway but then went to God. The VGU were appalled. But then from a much earlier time they were equally offended when we declared an internal out- of- bounds to the right of the opening first hole. Then the green was closer to our current 7th but followed the same crescent shape we know today. Unless of course you cut the corner and endangered those playing the 8th. You can’t do this would have been their dictate but I believe we ignored that.
More recently we had a similar problem with the 6th on the 27-hole course. We made a tee shot that landed on the 4th out of bounds because of the danger it posed. Perhaps we didn’t inform the VGU or maybe they had become aware of the 2003 court case that found in favour of an injured golfer. Clubs have a duty of care something of which former Club Secretary, Barry Cunningham, reminded us frequently. He was particularly agitated about the danger to those on the then tee box on the 14th – you can still see it today near the two mounds – who were exposed to a tee shot from the 11th. He was equally concerned about the danger to those putting on the 15th before the fence was put in place. Barry was very good at being agitated. Twice he engaged in legal battles with the Club, once when he was Secretary. On this occasion though he was right. I was there the day Steve Mallon was struck on the head from an errant shot. Paramedics cleared him of major damage but it was an anxious time.
Brett Warne was a two-time Club champion (1984 and 1989) who might well have had two. Anthony can vouch for one of them because he played with him that day. It was on the then 1st and was quite conventional: driver and wood. Anthony strongly suspects he had a second on the same hole but unfortunately this can’t be confirmed.
Maybe, though, this is what Anthony was remembering. At this time Graham Kennedy was beginning his golf career and he had one on this very same hole. It was standard stuff: drive just around the corner and then a long wood to the hole. Easy really. Graham has another claim to fame. In 1971 our juniors won a pennant but it wasn’t until 1991 that we claimed our first senior pennant. But who had the right to claim to be the first? Graham was part of the Division 4 team that won on the same day that the Scratch boys did. However, Divi 4 finished their matches early so technically they were the first to break the drought but wait a minute …. In the same year, but exactly when I don’t know, the women came up with a pennant win so maybe they were the first. It probably doesn’t matter because all of us were the winners.
So, let us celebrate these remarkable achievements but not leave it there. If Glenn has any chance of getting an albatross honour board, he needs information. Speak directly to Glenn or Anthony if you know of other unsung heroes.
George Shand
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